Food For Thought

 

 

Food for Thought

 

 

Democracy

NOW!

 

Dec. 25, 2007

 

Ordinary People Telling Their Stories to Each Other

 

Three years ago, award-winning radio producer Dave Isay created a national social history project called StoryCorps. It now has the potential to become one of the largest documentary oral history projects ever donated to the Library of Congress.

 

Dave joined us in our firehouse studio earlier this year. He is author of the new book, Listening is an Act of Love: A Celebration of American Life from the StoryCorps Project.

 


 

TEDxSanDiego

Jan. 7, 2015

 

The Power of Listening

 

William Ury explains how listening is the essential, and often overlooked, half of communication. His stories of candid conversations with presidents and business leaders provide us with impactful lessons, such as understanding the power of a human mind opening up. He asks us to join a listening revolution, and promises that if we all just listen a little bit more, we can transform any relationship.

 


 

TED Salon: DWEN

Ideas worth spreading

March 2021

 

How to have constructive conversations

 

“We need to figure out how we go into conversations not looking for the victory, but the progress,” says world debate champion Julia Dhar. In this practical talk, she shares three essential features of productive disagreements grounded in curiosity and purpose. The end result? Constructive conversations that sharpen your argument and strengthen your relationships.

 

Psychology Today

 

Wisdom

 

Wisdom is one of those qualities that is difficult to define—because it encompasses so much—but which people generally recognize when they encounter it. And it is encountered most obviously in the realm of decision-making.

 

Psychologists tend to agree that wisdom involves an integration of knowledge, experience, and deep understanding, as well as a tolerance for the uncertainties of life. There’s an awareness of how things play out over time, and it confers a sense of balance.

 


 

The Idries Shah Foundation

 

PRACTICAL WISDOM & PSYCHOLOGY

 

Changing the way we view
ourselves and the world one
story at a time


 

ISF is devoted to championing a sense of imagination, and to teaching stories – the kind of which are contained in the large published corpus of the writer and thinker, Idries Shah. 

 

Engaged in a wide range of charitable projects on a world-wide basis, the Foundation seeks to stimulate the minds of both young and old by regarding the world in new ways.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The Son of a Story-Teller

 

World Tales

 


 

Becoming the Marginalian: After 15 Years,

Brain Pickings Reborn

 

By Maria Popova

 

 

But amid our slender repertoire of agency are the labels we choose for our labors of love — the works of thought and tenderness we make with the whole of who we are.

 

A challenge arises when we make something over a long period of time. As we evolve — as we add experiences, impressions, memories, deepening knowledge and self-knowledge to the combinatorial pool from which all creative work springs — what we make evolves accordingly; it must, if we are living widely and wisely enough. Eventually, the name we once chose for it begins to feel not like a choice but like a constraint, an ill-fitting corset ribbed with the ossified sensibility of a former self. Joan Didion may be right that “we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not,” but we are also well advised to welcome with a largehearted embrace the blooming possibilities within us — the people we are in the ongoing course of becoming, the people we will have been when our atoms give way to our afterglow.

 

Brain Pickings was born on October 23, 2006 as an improbable idea in a young mind only just becoming literate in the language of life. Fifteen years hence, it is reborn as The Marginalian — reborn as what it has always been beneath the ill-fitting name chosen by a twenty-two-year-old immigrant in whose ear the tired puns and idioms of a non-native language rang fresh and full of wonder: an evolving record and ongoing celebration of my readings and my loves, of all that makes me feel most alive.

 


 

“Reading Allowed” by Taylor Mali

 

Performed as part of a Page Meets Stage pairing at the Bowery Poetry Club on Feb. 22, 2007.

 


 

The Moth Presents Anthony Griffith:

“The Best of Times, The Worst of Times” ~ Jan. 6, 2012

 


 

BILL MOYERS JOURNAL 

 

In this 2007 interview, Bill talks with author Maxine Hong Kingston about helping returning soldiers find peace through writing.

 

TRANSCRIPT [excerpt]

 

BILL MOYERS: Welcome to the Journal. On this Memorial Day weekend I am reminded that I have never had to go to war, never been tested under fire, never had to kill or be killed. What I have learned about battle I have learned from the real experts, from veterans — and from poets. With their power of empathy and evocation poets open us to what lies buried in the soldier’s soul. I remember to this day hearing one of my high school teachers read Wilfred Owen’s pained cry from the trenches of France: “I am the enemy you killed, my friend.” So, even as America is fighting this weekend in Iraq, we turn to a poet, a writer, to honor all those soldiers who have served our country, in war and peace.

 

No one I know personally has done more to help veterans themselves bear witness to unspeakable experience than Maxine Hong Kingston.

 

Growing up, the oldest of six children in Stockton, California, Maxine listened to her parents’ stories and memories of their native China. In a series of highly acclaimed books she linked those traditional stories to her life in America, blending memory, mediation, and magic to create Woman Warrior, one of the most widely taught books on college campuses for thirty years now, and then China Men, Tripmaster Monkey, To Be the Poet, and The Fifth Book of Peace. Her body of work has earned Kingston a large following, as well as many awards, including the National Book Award and the National Humanities Medal presented by President Clinton in 1997.

 

But for all the words she’s poured onto the page from her own life and mind, for many years Maxine Hong Kingston has been coaxing words from others. In 1993 she put out a call to veterans to join her in workshops devoted to turning their experiences into poems, novels, and essays. Here in the hills of Northern California, over 500 veterans
from every war since World War II have taken part, and some of their finest work has now been published in this book, Veterans of War; Veterans of Peace. For many of them it has been a life-changing, even life-saving experience.

 


 

Go Project Films 

 

PATH OF FREEDOM

 

In the harsh environment of a Rhode Island men’s prison, a group of fifty inmates are transforming their lives through the practice of meditation. Path of Freedom follows former inmate Fleet Maull as he visits the prison to share his strategies for surviving on the inside. The film offers a rare glimpse into the inner lives of men reaching for forgiveness, inner peace and freedom behind bars.

 


 

The On Being Project

March 1, 2015

 

The Subversive Power of Beauty

 

By Michael Fryer

 

Beauty has the potential to be a transcendent and transformative element in conflict situations. In John O’Donohue’s book, Divine Beauty: The Invisible Embrace, he argues that beauty has real power, a power that can be subversive.

 

Moments of beauty — be it music, art, nature, or an act of kindness — can take you out of a space of weary familiarity. Beauty, in whatever form it takes, can interrupt a pattern of behavior or a way of thinking and cause us to stop in our tracks and take notice of it. There are people holding out on the toughest frontiers of existence, surrounded by misery, but yet somehow sustained by a moment of beauty.

 

A story can act as a vehicle for transcendence. Joseph Campbell suggests that a story has the power to pitch you out of your everyday experience. Once you’ve heard it and return to where you were, you see the world, or the person telling the story differently. He likens it to walking down 5th Avenue in New York City and stepping into St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Suddenly you’ve left the busy metropolis and are standing in a huge open space. The light is different. It’s quiet. You begin to think on a different level. And, when you return to the bustling world of the street, cars still rush by, people still hurry about their business, but stepping into that different space creates a moment of transcendence.

 


 

PSYCHE Films

October 27, 2021

 

From the astronauts to humanity itself,

‘Earthrise’ has left an indelible mark

 

Told firsthand by the Apollo 8 astronauts, the Emmy-nominated film Earthrise (2018) documents their remarkable voyage to the far side of the Moon, and the importance of the timeless image they captured. Using archive footage and interviews, the filmaker Emmanual Vaughan-Lee transports us behind the lens of the 70mm camera that memorialised the moment the spacecraft fell into the shadow of the Moon as Earth rose over the lunar horizon. From questioning their faith to recognising that space exploration could bring humans closer together as a species, the three astronauts were indelibly changed by this new vantage. They became messengers of peace, and their sobering reflections rippled throughout the world via that ‘Earthrise’ image. In it, humanity could see the stark difference between a lifeless and a living planet.

 


 

Moyers & Company

January 17, 2014

 

Neil deGrasse Tyson on Science,

Religion and the Universe

 

 

A new poll by Pew Research has found that one-third of Americans do not believe in evolution, with Republicans far less likely to believe that humans evolved over time than Democrats. That may be why the teaching of evolution to children continues to be an often temper-flaming debate. In states like Texas, some public school students are opening their biology textbooks to find evolution described as “dogma” and an “unproved theory.”

 

While astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson believes all individuals have a right to their own beliefs, he’s passionate about what should be taught in science class – science.

 

“If you have a religious philosophy that is not based in objective realities that you then want to put in the science classroom, then I’m going to stand there and say no, ‘I’m not going to allow you in the science classroom,’” Tyson tells Bill.

 

In the second part of their conversation, Tyson and Bill discuss whether science and religion can ever be reconciled, explore the cosmic enigma known as dark matter and the possibilities of parallel universes. Neil deGrasse Tyson is host of the upcoming series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey premiering Sunday, March 9, 2014 on Fox.

 


 

Parable

Religious History Documentaries

May 13, 2022

 

Is There Scientific Evidence That God Exists? | The Case For A Creator

 

Award-winning journalist and longtime atheist Lee Strobel embarks on an intense search for scientific evidence that God exists. Strobel, a former writer for the Chicago Tribune, questions his lack of faith when his wife converts to Christianity. Based on his bestselling book, The Case For A Creator asks if science can solve the ultimate question that the faithful take for granted.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Parable

Jan. 28, 2022

 

The Scientific Case For Creationism | Origin

 

Can science really explain the origin of life? Are creationism and materialism mutually exclusive? This remarkable documentary challenges the paradigm of scientific materialism and the belief that life is nothing more than the product of blind, undirected processes.

 

Exposing the flaws of materialistic theories, Origin guides us through a molecular universe to encounter extraordinary biological engineering fundamental to the survival of every organism that has ever existed. Engineering that points clearly to intelligence and mind.

 


 

 


 

verywellmind

 

Life-Long Learning Has Positive Impact

on Brain Health and Aging

 

By Claire Gillespie | Published on January 24, 2022

 

Julian Lagoy, MD, a psychiatrist with Mindpath Health, believes that research is important. “We can all learn from it to help improve our lives,” he says. “It shows that we need to keep our minds active and engaged, and that the more we use our brains in life, the less likely we will have degeneration in older age.”

 


 

Psychotherapy

 N  E  T  W  O  R  K  E  R

 

May/June 2018

 

Stories Told at the End of the Day

From an Evening of Storytelling 2018

Symposium

 

 

Moments of Truth

 

By Marian Sandmaier

 

Storytelling is nearly as old as language itself, a way of communing with others through showing and telling what’s meaningful – even necessary – in our lives. Many linguists believe that sharing in-person tales is encoded in our very DNA, with tone of voice, facial expressions, and gestures combining to more fully engage others and develop intimate connections with them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

My First Client, My Best Teacher

 

By Susan Johnson

 

My journey as a therapist began as a counselor in a residential treatment center for emotionally disturbed adolescents in British Columbia, Canada. Overnight I was plunged into doing individual, group, and family therapy with kids who showed up with every problem under the sun, including schizophrenia, homicidal behavior, and anxiety disorders. I had an undergraduate degree in English literature and one year of teacher training. My actual training for helping these kids at the time was exactly zip, nada.

 

Back then, the human potential movement was in full swing. Encounter groups were the cutting edge, with everyone lining up to beat a cushion with a tennis racket and yell about their mother, thereby releasing their deep inner rage. Gestalt therapy and primal screams were everywhere. For a nice, polite English girl, it was like being thrown in the touchy-feely deep end without a life jacket. And I was lost!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The Hearing

 

 By Kirsten Lind Seal

 

So there I was in the courtroom. I walked up to the witness stand, put my right hand up in the air and my left hand on the Bible, and I promised to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. . . .

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jimmy

 

 By David Treadway

 

A raised eyebrow. A tilt of the head. Pursed lips. A subtle shrug. Growing up, that was the language we used in my old New England Yankee family to express anger, and even rage. Yes, we were an incredibly charming and handsome family. So much so that in 1949, Look magazine printed a photo of us as a full-page, glossy model of the ideal American family. We were so well-mannered and well-behaved that you’d never guess that of the six of us, my sister and my father had florid psychosis, my mother would commit suicide, and my two brothers would end up with lifelong addictions. Of course, this family also produced a family therapist. Big shock.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Karaoke on Five South

 

By Martha Manning

 

After you’ve been through years of killer depression and agitation that escalate into repeated interventions, it’s impossible to ignore how much you’ve taken your family along for the ride.

 

By the time she was in college, my daughter Keara’s optimistic cheerleading approach to my illness had exhausted itself, leaving her weary, angry, and cautious. As a psychologist, I knew this made perfect sense. As a mother, it broke my heart.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A Complete Life

 

By David Kessler

 

As a specialist in issues of death and grief, I was called in by an oncologist to see a 29-year-old patient named Leslie, who was dying of cancer. As I approached her hospital room, I found her mother, tall and straight-backed, standing outside like a guard waiting to meet me. She said, “Under no circumstances should you tell Leslie that she’s dying.” I nodded, having heard this kind of thing before. “I don’t want her to know,” the mother continued. “She needs to keep fighting. She needs to have a complete life.”

 


 

March/April 2020

 

Case Study:

 

Breaking the Silence with

Nonverbal Autism

 

By Peter Rothenberg

 

In Pedagogy of the Oppressed, author Paulo Freire demonstrates that nothing is more empowering than teaching people to name their world. As therapists, we know this applies especially to our clients’ inner worlds. Even relatively high-functioning people can find it difficult to know what they’re experiencing and how to express it. Imagine what it must be like for the people with autism who don’t talk but have a world of perceptions, feelings, thoughts, fantasies, and desires swirling around inside them. Imagine the frustration, isolation, and confusion they experience. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

September/October 2021

 

Borrowed Tears

 

A Therapist Reclaims His Buried past–and Upends His Practice

 

By David Treadway

 

Years ago, out on the workshop circuit, when I’d talk to therapists about many of us being some version of a “wounded healer,” I’d describe my own role as a parentified child and my futile efforts to counsel my mentally ill mom and somewhat clueless, disengaged dad. Many of us were the children who’d taken care of family members as a way of staying out of the line of fire and feeling good about ourselves. At some point in my presentation, I’d observe that for some of us, our childhood coping strategies made us highly effective therapists. Jokingly, I’d conclude, “And who knows, maybe if I ever really do get well, I’ll retire.”

 

Little did I know that this throwaway line would become my life’s koan.
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Helper Syndrome

 

When Are We Enough?

 

By Gabor Maté

 

When problems aren’t fixable, as they can often seem in these times, we therapists are faced with the predicament of trying to solve the unsolvable. This predicament lies at the very source of our distress as healers. It’s the weight of trying to fix the unfixable and manage the unmanageable that’s stressing us.

 

And yet, although you might be worn out, there’s no such thing as compassion fatigue. No one gets tired of being compassionate. Compassion is part of our nature, and we don’t get tired of being ourselves. In fact, I’m going to suggest that we get tired of not being ourselves. The problem is not with compassion directed toward our clients, but with a lack of compassion for ourselves.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The Ambivalence Trap

 

Liberating Ourselves from the Pursuit of Perfection

 

By Linda Gask

 

I’m a psychiatrist who’s experienced recurrent episodes of depression, sometimes quite severe, since my 20s. At medical school, I was extremely anxious and needed psychiatric help. Nonetheless, I found it easy to speak to patients with mental health problems – which encouraged me to pursue a career in psychiatry myself.

 

During the 33 years that I practiced, when I was well, I was always certain that psychiatry was the right career for me; at other times, I’ve considered myself to be a total failure, despite evidence of my success as a doctor and academic. There were even periods when life no longer seemed worth living.

 

Since then, psychodynamic and cognitive behavioral therapy have helped me make many necessary changes in my life, but they’ve been insufficient in preventing relapses. And while medication has helped me considerably – and I’ve seen it help many people in my practice – I’m still ambivalent about taking the pills.

 


 

PSYCHLOPAEDIA

May 10, 2018

 

How to recover from depression

 

Leading depression expert and clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Yapko draws on research and shares his insights from 40 years of working with those suffering this common mental health issue. Learn the simple skills that research shows can help you or a loved one to recover – and even prevent depression occurring – in this heartwarming and uplifting speech for the Australian Psychological Society.

 


 

Psychology Today

January 24, 2022

 

Annie Wright LMFT

 

Dismissing and Diminishing

Your Past Keeps You From Healing

 

We may dismiss and diminish our pasts as an unconscious coping mechanism.

 


 

THE CONVERSATION – April 29, 2022

 

Psychologists are starting to talk publically about their own mental illnesses – and patients can benefit.

 

From sports and entertainment celebrities like Simone Biles, Ariana Grande and Ryan Reynolds to everyday social media users on Facebook, Twitter and TikTok, more people are talking publicly about mental health.

 

Yet both students and professionals across fields have long been advised that talking openly about their own mental health experiences risks negative judgments from co-workers and supervisors, which can potentially damage their careers. Ironically, even professionals in mental health fields are advised to conceal their own experiences with mental illness.

 

This culture of silence is counter to what psychologists know to be true about battling stigma: that talking openly about mental health can help reduce stigma and encourage others to seek help.

 

Stigmatizing openness about mental illness can also result in the systemic discrimination against and exclusion from mental health professions of people who can make valuable contributions to the field – whether in spite of or because of their unique mental health experiences.

 


 

WIRED UK

April 14, 2021

 

Aphantasia: The People Without a Mind’s Eye

 

If you close your eyes and picture an apple, how clear is that apple in your mind? Most people can visualise images in their head instantaneously – this is known as the mind’s eye. But in 2015, a scientific study shed new light on the relatively unheard-of phenomenon known as aphantasia, a mental blindness where the brain is unable to call images to the mind’s eye.

 

This short documentary uncovers the root cause of a person’s emotional detachment from people and events – and the unexpected advantages that come with it. Alex Wheeler shares the story of how his experiences with aphantasia have affected his life, particularly his grieving process after losing his mum, as he seeks answers from Adam Zeman, Professor of Cognitive and Behavioural Neurology at the University of Exeter Medical School.

 


 

Psychology Encyclopedia

 

The rapidly changing field of psychology encompasses a wide range of concepts, theories, experiments, and related scientific disciplines. The JRank Psychology Encyclopedia web site endeavors to provide useful information on many aspects of psychology. Famous experiments, psychological theories, mental disorders, and the science of the human mind are just a few of the topics covered in the thousands of articles collected here.

 

Some of the database’s highlights include:

 

  • The life of Sigmund Freud and how it shaped modern psychoanalysis and contemporary popular notions of psychology.

 


 

PsychCentral

 

7 Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate in Relationships

 

Written by Hope Gillette — Updated on December 9, 2021

 

We may give people we love free passes sometimes, but there are some behaviors you might not want to accept in any relationship.

 

Toxic relationship behaviors aren’t just about arguing or jealousy. They can also include more subtle actions that affect the way you see yourself and the world.

 

Identifying which relationship dynamics harm your mental health can help you make decisions and protect yourself.

 


 

Dealing With People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner

 

From Chapter 3: The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

 

Once someone determines that what they want is not happening, or that what they don’t want is happening, their behavior becomes more extreme and, therefore, less tolerable to others. We now can observe how threatened or thwarted positive intentions lead to the behaviors of difficult people.

 

 

Threatened Intent to Get It Done

 

Through the distorted lens of the thwarted intent to get it done, others appear to be wasting time, going off on tangents, or just plain taking too long. The intent increases in intensity, and the subsequent behavior becomes more controlling. The three most controlling behaviors and types are the Tank, Sniper, and Know-It-All.

 

The Tank.     On a mission, unable to slow down, pushing you around, or running right over you, the Tank has no inhibitions about ripping you apart personally. Yet the irony is 
 it’s nothing personal. You just happened to get in the way. In an effort to control the process and accomplish the mission, Tank behavior ranges from mild pushiness to outright aggression.

 

The Sniper.    A strategist when things aren’t getting done to their satisfaction, the Sniper attempts to control you through embarrassment and humiliation. Most people live in fear of public embarrassment – a fact that Snipers use to their advantage, by making loaded statements and sarcastic comments at times when you are most vulnerable.

 

The Know-It-All.    The Know-It-All controls people and events by dominating the conversation with lengthy, imperious arguments, and eliminates opposition by finding flaws and weaknesses to discredit other points of view. Because the Know-It-All is actually knowledgeable and competent, most people are quickly worn down by this strategy, and finally just give up.

 

 

Threatened Intent to Get Appreciated by People

 

Through the distorted lens of a thwarted intent to get appreciation from people, the lack of positive feedback combines in their mind with the reactions, comments, and facial expressions of others, and tends to be taken personally. The intent to get appreciation intensifies in direct proportion to the lack of appreciative feedback, and behavior becomes increasingly aimed at getting attention. The three most difficult attention-getting behaviors that result from the thwarted desire to get appreciation are the Grenade, the Friendly Sniper, and the Think-They-Know-It-All.

 

Grenade Behavior.    They say they don’t get any appreciation and they’re not getting any respect. When the silence and lack of appreciation become deafening, look out for the Grenade: The adult temper tantrum. “Kaboom!@#$* Nobody around here cares! That’s the problem with the world today. Kapow!*%^&@# I don’t know why I even bother! No one appreciates just how hard it is for me! Katung! &%$#*.” Ranting and raving are difficult to ignore. But since this desperate behavior produces negative attention and disgust, the Grenade is ever more likely to blow up at the next provocation.*

 

The Friendly Sniper.    This Sniper actually likes you, and their sniping is a “fun way” of getting attention. “I never forget a face 
 but in your case I will make an exception.” Many people have relationships that include playful sniping. Normally, the best defense is a good offense, because instead of offending, a return snipe is a sign of appreciation. But if the person on the receiving end doesn’t give or receive appreciation in this manner, they may be laughing on the outside while bleeding from an emotional wound on the inside.

 

The Think-They-Know-It-All.    The Think-They-Know-It-All is a specialist in exaggeration, half truths, jargon, useless advice, and unsolicited opinions. Charismatic and enthusiastic, this desperate-for-attention person can persuade and mislead an entire group of trusting people into serious difficulties. If you argue with them, Think-They-Know-It-Alls turn up the volume and dig in their heels, then refuse to back down until you look as foolish as they do.

 

* The difference between the Tank and the Grenade is that the Tank uses focused fire in a single direction, and the Grenade produces an out-of-control explosion in 360 degrees. The Tank takes aim with specific charges, but leaves other useful people and office equipment standing. The Grenade introduces elements that have little or nothing to do with the present circumstances. A Tank attack is a demand for action. A Grenade explosion is a demand for attention.

 


 

The Atlantic

March 26, 2021

 

What You’re Saying When You Give

Someone the Silent Treatment

 

Social ostracism has been a common punishment for millennia. But freezing someone out harms both the victim and the perpetrator.

 

By Daryl Austin

 

Kipling Williams has studied the effects of the silent treatment for more than 36 years, meeting hundreds of victims and perpetrators in the process:

 

A grown woman whose father refused to speak with her for six months at a time as punishment throughout her life. “Her father died during one of those dreaded periods,” Williams told me. “When she visited him at the hospital shortly before his death, he turned away from her and wouldn’t break his silence even to say goodbye.”

 

A father who stopped talking to his teenage son and couldn’t start again, despite the harm he knew he was causing. “The isolation made my son change from a happy, vibrant boy to a spineless jellyfish, and I knew I was the cause,” the father said to Williams.

 

A wife whose husband severed communication with her early in their marriage. “She endured four decades of silence that started with a minor disagreement and only ended when her husband died,” Williams said. Forty years of eating meals by herself, watching television by herself—40 years of being invisible. “When I asked her why she stayed with him for all that time,” Williams said, “she answered simply, ‘Because at least he kept a roof over my head.’”

 

A teacher. A sibling. A grandparent. A friend. Each story that Williams, a psychology professor at Purdue University, told me was more heartbreaking than the one before. As I listened, the question that lingered most was How could these people do this to those closest to them?

 

The silent treatment goes by many names: shunning, social isolation, stonewalling, ghosting. Although psychologists have nuanced definitions for each term, they are all essentially forms of ostracism. And the tactic is nothing new. Ancient Greeks expelled for 10 years citizens who were thought to be a threat to democracy, and early American settlers banished people accused of practicing witchcraft. Religions have frozen out individuals for centuries: Catholics call it excommunication, herem is the highest form of punishment in Judaism, and the Amish practice Meidung. The Church of Scientology recommends total “disconnection” from anyone deemed antagonistic toward the religion.

 

“My research suggests that two in three individuals have used the silent treatment against someone else; even more have had it done to them,” Williams said. Experts told me that although they need more data to know for certain, instances of the silent treatment have likely increased over the years as new forms of communication have been invented. “Every new method of connection can be used as a form of disconnection,” Williams said.

 

Ostracism can also manifest in lesser ways: someone walking out of the room in the middle of a conversation, a friend at school looking the other way when you wave at them, or a person addressing comments from everyone in a message thread except you. “Partial ostracism,” Williams told me, might mean monosyllabic replies—a terse period at the end of a one-word text message. But in serious cases, ostracism can take a heavy toll whereby victims become anxious, withdrawn, depressed, or even suicidal.

 

“Because we humans require social contact for our mental health, the ramifications of isolation can be severe,” Joel Cooper, a psychology professor at Princeton, told me. “In the short term, the silent treatment causes stress. In the long term, the stress can be considered abuse.”

 


 

Psychology Today

 

 Defense Mechanisms

 

Close relationships often arouse our deepest emotions, and sometimes we turn to defenses to manage those emotions. Yet this can lead to more anxiety by driving a wedge into the relationship, so it’s valuable to reflect on whether you or your partner use certain defenses.

 


 

From Talk Is Not Enough: How Psychotherapy Really Works by Willard Galin, M.D.

 

    The problem with angry people, who are certainly more vulnerable to many psychosomatic ills, is not their inability to release anger, but their unlimited capacity to generate unwarranted anger. These individuals will summon massive rage in response to meager stimuli. They will perceive even the slightest discourtesy as a life-threatening assault or a damage to dignity and pride.

 

    What is true of anger applies to most cases of repressed emotions. The problem with people who have pent-up emotions is not just their inability to express them, but their capacity to generate them.

 

    The ability to cry, to express your emotions, to vent anger – or, more important, grief, shame, or guilt – in the presence of an understanding or loving person is a part of the therapeutic process, but only a part. Catharsis alone will never resolve complicated neuroses. The emotions must be tied to a vision of causation, a sense of where this all comes from. The neurosis must be explored in terms of the defensive structure and character armor that the patient has constructed over a lifetime of living with his predicament.

 

    To accomplish real change, patient and therapist together must challenge the underlying false assumptions that the neurotic carries within him about himself and the world he occupies. The patient must confront the defenses built in accordance with these false assumptions, which while false are nonetheless perceived by the patient as truths on which his very survival depends. The patient will perceive each therapeutic assault on his distorted views as threatening, as undermining his security. He will struggle and resist to hold on to his illusions, and his neurosis. He feels safer living in the artificial, constricted, and unreal world he has constructed to serve his anxieties than in any real world of increased opportunities. He will struggle and resist the journey to health. But to unshackle himself from the chains of his neurosis, to grow and mature, he must acknowledge his distortions.

 

    The patient’s painful rediscovery and acceptance of the actual world will involve a process called insight.

 


 

verywellmind

 

Doctor Discussion Guides

 

Take greater control of your mental health with

our helpful doctor discussion guides.

 

When it comes to your mental health, it’s important to ask the right questions during the time you spend with your doctor. Those conversations can help you understand your symptoms and treatment options and learn how to navigate any challenges you may face.

 

These printable guides contain sample questions to ask your doctor along with common terms that can help facilitate conversations with your medical team. Bring them along to your next appointment so you can feel more confident and get answers to your most important questions.

 


 

GoodTherapy

 

Addressing Abuses of Power

 

Power is the ability to influence the events, people, and environments around us. However, people do not always use their power well. Sometimes people (intentionally or unintentionally) use power in ways that cause harm to others. When power is used unethically, the affected parties may wish to see a therapist. A mental health professional can help restore a balance of power and teach people more sustainable ways of asserting themselves.

 

 

POWER AND ETHICS

 

Possession of power is not the same thing as using power. A strong person may have the ability to strike a rival, but they are not obligated to do so. Sometimes, refraining from using one type of power (like physical coercion) can lead to an increase of another type of power (social status).

 

The right use of power, as defined by Cedar Barstow, MEd, in her book of the same name, is “any use of power that does any or all of the following: prevents harm, reduces harm, repairs harm, promotes well-being
 power is the ability to have an effect.” Power’s effects do not always match a person’s intent. For example, a person who manipulates their friends “for their own good” will still likely hurt the people they care about.

 

Power does not always corrupt: it can be used for prosocial or antisocial purposes. Context can heavily influence how a person uses power. According to a 2008 study, individuals who are in a conflict scenario are more likely to use their power in an antisocial way. But individuals who are primed to think of others (such as in a health care scenario) are more likely to use their power in a prosocial way.

 


 

THE MICHAEL SHERMER SHOW

 

A series of conversations between Dr. Michael Shermer and leading scientists, philosophers, historians, scholars, writers and thinkers about the most important issues of our time.

 

EPISODE # 222

 

Suzanne O’Sullivan on psychosomatic disorders and other mystery illnesses, based on her book The Sleeping Beauties: And Other Stories of Mystery Illness

 


 

verywellmind

 

Are Personality Traits Genetic?

 

By Kendra Cherry | Updated on September 12, 2022

 

Personality traits help make us unique individuals, but not everyone agrees on exactly how many different traits exist or what factors contribute to these characteristics. Is personality genetic, or does the environment play a greater role in shaping who we are?

 

This article discusses how personality traits are defined, whether personality is genetic, and how traits can sometimes change over time.

 


 

onmagic

March 27, 2008

 

Secrets of The Psychics

 

Part 1 of  6

 


 

Psychology Today

February 3, 2021

 

Ralph Lewis M.D.

 

How Can So Many People Believe Such Weird Things?

 

Beliefs contradicted by evidence are the norm, not the exception.

 

Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast — Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland1

 

A longtime patient of mine, whom I like very much, recently shared his views with me on the COVID-19 pandemic.2 He expressed how disappointed he is with most people for being such unquestioning “sheep,” believing everything the government tells them about the virus. “I’m just so disappointed in people. They can’t think for themselves.” He, in contrast, does not trust the authorities and does his “own research.” He told me about how he had watched YouTube videos of certain experts on COVID-19, who disagree with the views and advice of public health officials. These “experts” explained that COVID-19 is no more dangerous than the flu, that widespread mask-wearing is unwarranted, and that mass quarantines and lockdowns are unjustified and are just intended to serve particular political interests.

 


 

Skeptic

 

Daniel Loxton

2019

 

The Great Cardiff Giant!

 

Understanding Flat Earthers

 


 

A Thousand Words is Worth a Picture

 

By Kenneth Grooms

1978

 

 


 

 Highly Sensitive Refuge

 

4 Common Ways

Highly Sensitive People

Are Misunderstood

 

By Dr. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D

October 1, 2021

 


 

The Atlantic

March 4, 2021

 

MORE FROM HOW TO BUILD A LIFE

 

A Counterintuitive Way to Cheer Up When You’re Down

When you most need to get happier, try giving happiness away.

 

By Arthur C. Brooks

 

Norman Rockwell painted some of the most iconic images of 20th-century America. His paintings, such as Rosie the Riveter and the Four Freedoms series from World War II, and The Problem We All Live With and Murder in Mississippi from the civil-rights movement, were intended to evoke the best in people who saw them: hope, solidarity, courage, justice—but most of all, happiness. The bulk of his work captured scenes of lighthearted joy. Consider Shiner, which depicts a young girl with a black eye, sitting outside the principal’s office with a grin that tells you she has just been the victor in combat.

 

I have seen these paintings my whole life, starting with my grandfather’s beloved, dog-eared coffee-table book of Rockwell’s greatest works. A printing-press operator in Longview, Washington, my grandfather was no art connoisseur. But he gave this assessment of Rockwell: “These pictures make me feel happy.”

 

And yet, Rockwell himself struggled with happiness. In 1953, he moved to Stockbridge, Massachusetts, a bucolic town in the Berkshires—not for its natural beauty and peace but because it happened to be the home of a psychiatric hospital where he and his wife could receive treatment for chronic depression. There, he was a patient of the world-famous psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, with whom Rockwell racked up a therapy bill so large that he had to accept commissions for Kellogg’s Corn Flakes magazine ads.

 


 

After Skool

October 15, 2019

 

Nikola Tesla – Limitless Energy & the Pyramids of Egypt

 

Nikola Tesla (July 10, 1856 – January 7, 1943) was a Serbian-American inventor, electrical engineer, mechanical engineer, and futurist who is best known for his contributions to the design of the modern alternating current (AC) electricity supply system. Tesla held over 300 patents and is responsible for inventing the laser, x-ray, radio, Tesla coil, Tesla turbine, neon signs, induction motor, remote control and many more. Tesla was a brilliant mind, but did not focus his energy on monetizing his inventions and had difficulty socializing. He died alone in a small hotel in New York.

 


 

The Daily Show

November 16, 2021

 

Peanuts, Franklin, and Racial Representation in Cartoons – Beyond The Scenes

 

Franklin was introduced as the first Black “Peanuts” character in 1968, opening up a conversation about race and representation in comics. In this episode, Roy Wood Jr. sits down with Daily Show writer Josh Johnson and Franklin’s namesake and creator of JumpStart Comics, Robb Armstrong, to discuss how the character was created, and the impact of comics.

 


 

Playing For Change

 

African-American Singer-Songwriters Who Greatly Impacted Music and History, Reggae, Rock n Roll, Soul

 

Music wouldn’t have the same impact without lyrics. It’s the words that we find in each composition that have inspired people to take action against injustice and make their way to find peace through music.

 

Join us as we close out Black History Month by celebrating some of the best African-American songwriters of all time.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

From the award-winning documentary, Playing For Change: Peace Through Music comes “Stand By Me,” the first of many Songs Around The World produced by Playing For Change. This Ben E. King classic features musicians around the world recorded by the Playing For Change team during their travels. This song continues to remind us that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people.

 

“Lean On Me” 

 

“Sittin’ On The Dock Of The Bay”

 

Playing For Change is proud to present this video of the song “What a Wonderful World” featuring Grandpa Elliott with children’s choirs across the globe. In these hard times, children and music bring us hope for a better future. Today we celebrate life and change the world one heart and one song at a time!!

 

In “Celebration” of Universal Children’s Day, we are proud to release this Song Around The World featuring children from all across the globe. Children are our hope for the future and it is up to us to pave the way so that their future is bright. Come one, come all and join together to make this world a better place for us and the generations to follow.

 


 

 

“Food for Thought” by Tom Gauld

 

 


 

Michael Moore

April 21, 2020

 

Michael Moore presents a film by Jeff Gibbs, Planet of the Humans, a documentary that dares to say what no one else will – that we are losing the battle to stop climate change because we are following leaders who have taken us down the wrong road – selling out the green movement to wealthy interests and corporate America. This film is the wake-up call . . .

 


 

THE GRAYZONE

 

‘Green’ billionaires behind professional activist

network that led suppression of ‘Planet of the

Humans’ documentary

 

MAX BLUMENTHAL | SEPTEMBER 7, 2020

 


 

 THE

NEW YORKER

 November 22, 2022

 

SAM BANKMAN-FRIED AND THE LONG ROAD TO TAKING CRYPTO MAINSTREAM

 

The disgraced founder of FTX played on the vanities of the establishment, reassuring V.C. firms and the media that smart-guy insiders like him could save the world.

 

By Jay Caspian Kong

 

In the beginning, there was Satoshi Nakamoto, the pseudonymous programmer who created Bitcoin and promised an entire new way of thinking about money – and, by extension, power and politics. But, after it became clear that Nakamoto wasn’t going to appear on some mount and pass his tablets down to the masses, the cryptocurrency world began to yearn for a proper evangelist. The people who have tried to fill that role have mostly been self-appointed, such as Roger Ver, the loud and impassioned former C.E.O. of Bitcoin.com, and the man behind Bitcoin Cash; Vitalik Buterin, the enigmatic and perpetually bemused creator of Ethereum; and the Winklevoss twins, the Facebook-involved duo immortalized in the film “The Social Network,” who started the Gemini exchange and pushed for years for a Bitcoin exchange-traded fund, which they argued would spread the gospel to every brokerage account in America. The reason that the crypto community felt like it needed someone in this role was relatively simple: Internet money requires a leap of faith in a new society. What that particular new world might look like has always been a bit vague, with a few nods to the Austrian School of Economics, or seamless economies that are run entirely on smart contracts. But the pitch to you, the consumer, has always remained the same: In the crypto future, whatever it is, you will be incredibly rich.

 

Bankman-Fried was the latest and the most effective crypto messiah, precisely because he did not really seem to take crypto all that seriously.

 


 

60 Minutes 

October 2, 2023

 

Rise and fall of Sam Bankman-Fried, FTX at center of Michael Lewis’s new book

 

Author Michael Lewis met with FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried more than 100 times. Lewis breaks down the crypto superstar’s rise and fall in his new book, Going Infinite: The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon.

 


 

Bloomberg Originals

October 25, 2023

 

RUIN: Money, Ego and Deception at FTX

 

RUIN is a feature documentary about Sam Bankman-Fried and the stunning collapse of his cryptocurrency exchange, FTX, as narrated by Bloomberg journalists and some of the central players in the rise of digital assets.

 

“There’s an element here that people should understand about the human condition that has been here since the beginning of time: Greed. Greed is powerful,” said Kevin O’Leary, former FTX spokesperson and Co-host of Shark Tank.